The LDS Club - No One Forces Us to be Members

The LDS Church is really just a club to me.  Like any other club, it has membership rules, a purpose, a set of policies and a mostly like-minded membership.  Join or not, stay a member or not - it's up to you.  But if you are going to join, and certainly if you are going to participate, be prepared to live by the club's rules.

It reminds me of community associations (ie. HOAs, homeowners associations, etc.) in a way.  In my past life, I represented them as legal counsel.  The communities vary in the nature and intrusiveness of their rules.  Some are quite mild, providing only for common area maintenance and basic rules such as not leaving your piece of garbage car on the street.  Others are extremely controlling, actually painting the homes, cutting front lawns, prohibiting parking on driveways and requiring approval of all architectural changes by a committee.  

All of which I have no problem with.  Not that I'd necessarily want to live in a controlling community.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't.  But the thing is, the choice is purely voluntary.  Don't like a community's rules?  Don't buy a house in the community.  There are plenty of options out there.  If you do buy a house in the community, don't then expect the community to change to meet your personal preferences.  Otherwise, the people who bought in the community specifically because they wanted those rules enforced are being cheated out of their choice.

If you believe that there is a god, and that the LDS church is key to pleasing him, then suck it up and live with the rules.  The way I see it, it's not an almost proposition.  One cannot accept only the parts one likes if in fact it is "the true Church".  A "pick and choose" approach is evidence of a weak belief in the theology in the first place.

I do not believe the LDS church is divine, nor do I accept that its leaders speak for god, a being of whose existence I have grave doubts.  As I said, the LDS church is a club.  Many people find much satisfaction and purpose in this club.  In so many ways, it was a wonderful organization to be a part of as I was growing up.  I believe the overwhelming majority of its leaders, on both a local and worldwide level, are good, honest people who desire to help, edify and lift others.  There are exceptions (Boyd Packer comes quickly to mind), but the exceptions prove the general application of the rule. 

However, it's not for me.  I'm too different from what is expected of a good LDS member.  Because no matter how you slice it, gay folks really aren't welcome unless they reject their sexuality.  I'm not a good fit, so I don't participate.

But, I also don't ask the LDS church to change for me.  Sometimes I think that many of us in the MoHo community, and even the gay community at large, will never give the LDS church, or any other religion or private organization, a rest until it conforms to our expectations of what it should be. 

There has been a very lively debate following a blog post on a recent talk by Elder Bednar regarding homosexuality and the Church.  Very lively.  And I've participated.  In the end, however, it dawned on me that many of the commentators simply will not be happy until the church, through its representatives, says what they want to hear - that it's ok to be gay, come on in and lead your lives openly as homosexuals.  I agree with that statement.  I don't agree that the LDS Church needs to be pummeled until it makes it. 

I think we need to move beyond that.  I repeat, membership in the LDS church is voluntary.  If I organized a club, I would resent outsiders telling me how it should be run, or members joining and then deciding that I should change the club's basic charter to meet their desires.  Go form your own club, I would say.

Now, I do believe the church becomes a legitimate target when it begins to promote infringements on my personal liberty.  However, this happens rarely, such as with its zealous support of California's Proposition 8.  And, frankly, if it had it to do over again, I don't believe the Church would be as vociferous as it was.

I think debate is healthy.  I would never discourage respectful disagreement with the Church's position.  But I think the bitterness that often accompanies it is unnecessary and is at best useless and at worst positively counterproductive.  The true believers cannot have their minds changed because they believe that any deviation from the church's teachings will prevent them from exaltation.  Matters of faith simply are not subject to normal arguments based on reason.  That is why it is called faith.

So, here's to forming or finding our own clubs.  Places where we can feel accepted for who we are.  And here's also to allowing our believing LDS brothers and sisters to do the same without mocking or maligning their choices.